i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
