Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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