bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
