I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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