I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
