white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We got so high we made milksteak
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
