exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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