Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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