Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
