Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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