it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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