You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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