i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize