What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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