Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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