i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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