weddingsv make me drug and hornr
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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