please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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