Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
