Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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