I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
