My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
so let's talk penis.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
