i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
