WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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