Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize