did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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