Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
