Need sex. Gaining weight.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
