i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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