And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
