Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
