Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
