Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
