I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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