have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
