my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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