How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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