I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
