clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
