2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
This toilet bowl is my home.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
