Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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