So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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