Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Randomize
