Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
