I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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