Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
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