New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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