Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
