The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
