we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
