wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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