i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
