She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
